Even though I've been buying and wearing size 6 1/2 shoes since I was fifteen, it's taken me an awful long while to say, "oh, I wear a shoe size 6 1/2". Sometimes I feel like maybe there's a size 6 1/2 shoe that wont fit me for some reason, and so I'll have to get a 6 or a 7. Though, this has never happened.
Today I'm down inside. A lot of games are being played in my head and really I'd like to just shut all those games off and take a nap. I laid down on my floor and picked up a pretty red shoe and thought, "Why did you ever buy this shoe? You do not need this shoe." I looked at the bottom and saw signs of wear or maybe just signs of a girl who doesn't know how to pick up her feet when she walks. In the middle of a small black patch that had not been worn down was "6 1/2".
Today I realized something about my shoe size. It is, and always will be a 6 1/2. More than this, there is a large firm ground that I'm refusing to stand on. A mound that is called by my name, but I'm just standing over by a tree in the distance, looking at it, wondering how I get there.
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1 comment:
maybe you weren't dragging your feet. maybe inside you have known you were a 6 1/2 all along and you were pressing firmly on that mound, so the wear is lighter on that spot. Evenly distributed.
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